The day started out well, riding on the bus to my local shopping centre with my sister, did our shopping and ate some food and that was that. Not exciting huh? I would agree totally with you if it were not for the DUM! DUM! DUUUUUUUM! Ticket Inspector! (that is a lot of exclamation marks).
God has a funny way of slapping people with just enough bad luck to show them who's really in charge. Was sitting alongside my sister on the way home when all of a sudden the bus stopped, lo and behold like a lone ranger he approached my sister with the words that strike fear into anyone who is unlucky enough to travel in London via the bus "Tickets please". Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! run for cover! Duck and roll! Ring the alarm!
My sister was safe in the knowledge that she had tapped in, I on the other hand did not. Damn. I thought I could work the system and give him the performance of a life time. Meryl Streep could learn a thing or two from me.
Ticket Inspector: Tickets please
Me: Oh here
PAUSE
TI: It tells me you haven't paid
Me: But I tapped in, I really did. (The Oscar goes to Cake Fiend!)
GOES TO CHECK THE READER
TI: Nope, they're all working, you need to follow me
Me: All right...
TI: right, give me your name, address and date of birth
(At this point I consider using up what ever dignity I have and flirt my way out of trouble.)
TI: How old are you miss?
Me: 26 (in a sexy way)
My efforts are in vain as he issues me with a £25 fine and goes about his business.
Lesson of the day? Don't try to flirt with Inspectors, this may actually increase your fine.
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