Wow, been a while. Will come back to this soon. Just checking how it's all going.

Let me go.

I'm moving out tomorrow, dad is not happy. He thinks I'll bring shame to the family as I'm a single girl living on my own (big no no in my culture).

He wants me to stay at the weekends at my new place with my lil sister and brother but it's just a round about way of saying supervision right?

I'm so tired of being me right now. I want someone to take me away.

By the grace of God go I

To make someone happy even if it may make you unhappy (temporarily), is it worth it? Shall I grin and bear it? Shall I bend over and and let them fuck me over?

To be free means to fight for one's liberty. Parents want me to meet a prospective husband soon, even when I said no. They don't want to listen. I don't want to be those women who look at their husband in couple of years time and wonder who the person is sleeping next to them.

The fight is on.

And the beat goes on...

Sitting on the floor, with the lap top...on my lap and I feel good. Why? Music, that's why. Travelling faster and further than the speed of light can ever manage. The power of music always amazes me. How can a finite amount of notes make what seems like infinite amount of music?

I read once in a book that God resides in the beat of every single thing, which makes me think that the whole universe is connected to the eternal beat that is God. I kinda like that. If God is the heart, surely we must be the pulse?

Long live music in all it glorious forms.

Chips, dips and occasional slips.

Why is it that when the chips are down (mmmmm, chips) you long to be a kid again? When things are simpler and everything has no real consequence. The old argument of knowledge vs innocence I suppose. The price we pay to be independent and grown up is to pay with the loss if naivety and maybe sometimes hope. Blinding hope that everything is tickety boo.

               

 Mmmmm, delicious but not quite right     

Like anything that falls downs, it can be built back up. 

Never look down.

                       

Participant or Observer?

When you reach your destination, where do you go from there? I live in the silence but I'm curious about the sounds.

Floating around and never feeling like you belong. Make your own reality.

We are family!

As I sit here drinking the last slightly gritty part of the tea, I am beginning to understand the love family can have for one another. This idea hasn't slapped me around the face as a 'duh!' moment but more of a slow burning realisation that there is nothing like family. Hell it doesn't have to be blood ties but the deep love shared between people.

Like all superheroes I have strengths and weaknesses. My family are both. They give me hope that I make a difference in this little planet with what I do and what I say. With a flip of a coin they can make me feel so insignificant and powerless. Who else can make me feel loved and yet stifled, than family?

But who would do without them? Not me.